TurboC
College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”

"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via infelicific)

theonion:

Police Satisfied After Drunk Man Assures Them There’s No Problem

jordanong:

Why haven’t I seen this posted yet…
Kojima is even trying to trick his staff.

ponett:

this shit just keeps getting funnier and funnier every time i think “this ‘movement’ can’t become any more of a joke” i wake up the next day and shit like this happens

ponett:

this shit just keeps getting funnier and funnier every time i think “this ‘movement’ can’t become any more of a joke” i wake up the next day and shit like this happens

monicalewinsky1996:

retr0philia:

yeah you called me cute, but like

did you mean cute as in puppy cute

or cute as in frick frack tickity tack take off your panties

I hope none of you ever get laid

You know how anime characters have a crisis of conscience and then go mad at yell “THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM”

I’m like that on shit like having cereal and a beer for breakfast.